8 Funny Politicians

•May 8, 2010 • 1 Comment

There have been some very serious politicians, and there have been some not so serious politicians.

Inspired by the disappointing defeat of number one on my list, here is a list of a few of my favourites in no particular order. If you have any to add, let me know and I will add them to the list.

1. Lembit Opik

Elected in 1997 for Montgomeryshire, he held on to his seat til just yesterday. Only to turn up today laughing at himself on comedy news-quiz show Have I Got News For You.

He has appeared on Who wants to be a millionaire and The Apprentice for charity. He was romantically attached to Gabriela Irimia, one of the cheeky girls. In the national expenses scandal he was noticeably admonished for a variety of indiscrepancies one of which was claiming a £40 summons for non-payment of Council Tax.

Best Quotes;

“It does sound like a science fiction story and I may sound like one of these guys who walks up and down with a sandwich board saying the end of the world is nigh, but the end is nigh…”

“It’s like giving a convicted man on trial the verdict and then saying ‘are you happy with that?’ “

2. Boris Johnson

Ex MP for Henley-On-Thames, ex-editor of The Spectator and Bullington Boy Boris is the current Mayor of London, and our host for the 2012 Olympics (God help us).

In 2003 Boris wrote in his Telegraph column that had stolen a cigar case from Tariq Aziz, a known associate of Saddam Hussain, who was in prison. Boris wrote that Aziz could have it back if he just asks.

He is often on TV appearing on shows as diverse as Top Gear to Eastenders. He has said that Liverpudlian were wallowing in victimhood, Papua New Guinea was an orgy of cannibalism and chief killing, and that Portsmouth was “one of the most depressed towns in Southern England.

Johnson rides his bike to work despite having his bike stolen several times. He has said he would like to plant decoy bikes around the city with nearby navy seals ready to catch the thieves.

Best Quotes;

“Try as I might, I could not look at an overhead projection of a growth profit matrix, and stay conscious.”

“Ok, I said to myself as I sighted the bird down the end of the gun. This time, my fine feathered friend, there is no escape.”

“No one obeys the speed limit except a motorised rickshaw”

3. George W. Bush

The 43rd President of the United States left office in 2009. Having taken the US into a “War on Terrorism”, he later ordered an invasion of Afghanistan and two years later Iraq.

Despite his declaring a state of emergency two days before Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans, both the Department of Homeland Security and FEMA failed to act in time. It took Bush 4 days before he authorised troops to enter the city and help.

Best quotes; (Literally there are hundreds of fun quotes for him)

“You can fool some of the people all the time, and those are the ones you want to concentrate on.”

“The thing that’s wrong with the French is that they don’t have a word for entrepreneur.”

“Most imports are from outside of the country”

“It’s clearly a budget. It’s got a lot of numbers in it.”


4. Baghdad Bob/Comical Ali

Mohammed Said al-Sahhaf, later dubbed Baghdad Bob by the american newspapers and Comical Ali by the british press was known for his daily briefings during the Iraq War.

Whilst American tanks were patrolling the streets just a few hundred meters away, Al-Sahhaf told the world press there were no americans in Baghdad.

Best Quotes;

“We will push those crooks, those mercenaries back into the swamp”

“What they say about a breakthrough is completely an illusion. They are sending their warplanes to fly very low in order to have vibrations on these sacred places . . . they are trying to crack the buildings by flying low over them.”

“Everything is just fine.”


5. Bob Dole

Bob Dole ran for election as President in 1996 against Bill Clinton, but despite failing he still holds he record for the longest-serving United States Senate Majority Leader.

Since his retirement he has become a commercial spokesman for Dunkin’ Donuts, Pepsi-Cola (with Britney Spears) and Viagra, as well as doing The Daily Show, and sitcom Suddenly Susan.

Best Quotes;

“Our intent will not be to create gridlock. Oh, except maybe from time to time.”

“The internet is a great way to get on the net.”

“If you’re hanging around with nothing to do and the zoo is closed, come over to the Senate. You’ll get the same kind of feeling and you won’t have to pay”



6. Sarah Palin

In Sarah Palin’s first term of office as Mayor of Wasilla, Alaska she famously kept a jar with the names of Wasilla residents on her desk. Once a week, she pulled a name from it and picked up the phone; she would ask: “How’s the city doing?”

When Republican presidential hopeful John McCain plucked her into the american limelight in the 2009 election, no-one knew who this young brash Alaskan was, but just a couple of nationwide interviews later, including the famous “As for that VP talk all the time, I’ll tell you, I still can’t answer that question until somebody answers for me what is it exactly that the VP does every day?”, and the whole world was aware that the republicans had a new kid on the block.

Best Quotes;

“They are also building schools for the Afghan children so that there is hope and opportunity in our neighboring country of Afghanistan.”

“I’m the mayor, I can do whatever I want until the courts tell me I can’t.”

“Nucular”


7. Winston Churchill

Prime Minister during World War II, great orator and leader, Winston Churchill was also a fabulous wit. His many conversations with Lady Astor, the first woman MP in the House of Commons.

In a classic encounter between the two of them Lady Astor announced “You sir, are drunk!”, to which he replied

“You madam are ugly, but in the morning I will be sober.”

Best Quotes;

“A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.”

“Although prepared for martyrdom, I preferred that it be postponed.”

“I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.”

“The water was not fit to drink. To make it palatable, we had to add whiskey. By diligent effort, I learned to like it.”



8. Silvio Berlusconi

The current Italian Prime Minister has held the role 3 times. He has an extensive record of criminal allegations, including mafia collusion, false accounting, tax fraud, corruption and bribery of police officers and judges, but as yet has not been convicted for any of them. Following the G8 conference in 2008 he said, “I’m the universal record-holder for the number of trials in the entire history of man – and also of other creatures who live on other planets.”

In 2002, Berlusconi, made a vulgar gesture  behind the head of the Spanish foreign minister, intimating he was a cuckold during an official photo shoot.

In 2005, said they should have the European Food Safety Authority in Italy rather than Finland because “the finnish didn’t know what prosciutto is.” And later that year when trying to justify American investment in Italy he said “we have the most beautiful secretaries in the world”.

In 2006 he refuted that he had said Communists used to eat children, by saying, “they did not eat children, but had them boiled to fertilise the fields”.

Best Quotes;

“If I, taking care of everyone’s interests, also take care of my own, you can’t talk about a conflict of interest.”

“I’m not a traditional politician, and I have a sense of humor. I’ll try to soften it and become boring, maybe even very boring, but I’m not sure if I’ll be able to.”

Advertisements

•April 14, 2010 • Leave a Comment

free counters

War, Collateral Murder and WikiLeaks

•April 8, 2010 • 2 Comments

If you haven’t seen this footage, I strongly recommend you do. It is shocking however, so please bear that in mind.

There is a huge amount to say about this and I will try to be careful with my words.

Firstly, I want to say that I am not nor have I ever been in any of the armed forces, and I do accept that soldiers have a very hard job in terribly dangerous conditions.

Secondly, I believe that WikiLeaks.com, a website that I found to be very reliable has given this video a bias by not fully explaining any contributing factors such as what had happened before or by explaining proper procedure throughout the video. Perhaps they haven’t been given the entire story, but they spend a fair amount of time setting up the footage, even an apology highlighting the limits of their understanding would have been beneficial.

To properly review the film, it is probably wise to mention this blog by a military man, who dissects it much better than I ever could.

http://blog.ajmartinez.com/2010/04/05/wikileaks-collateral-murder/

This next link is to Yahoo, one of the few places you will find this story reported in the UK. It is a report on the direct response to the film.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20100406/ts_nm/us_iraq_usa_journalists

Ok, so that’s as much background as I’m going to give you.

I want to say that war is terrible, and it makes animals out of men. There are always reports of soldiers getting over-zealous during intense combat situations. When there is a possibility of you or the man next to you dying, it is bound to make you a little crazy. It is probably part of a normal human defense mechanism to react badly, zealously or aggressively at these times. A professional soldier has to overcome some of these emotions and utilise other parts. They need to be brave in the face of intense danger, and always remember what they are doing. Procedures are there for their safety in the long run, and they need to stick to their training if they want to survive a situation which is scarier than anything I will ever face in my life.

That aside, it is clear that at certain times during this footage, the soldiers either followed a procedure which involved shooting a stationary car, which showed no signs of weaponry or any form of retaliation, or they simply got it wrong. The footage, or WikiLeaks’ take on the footage, is that they got it badly wrong. Having only seen the footage and read some commentaries on it, I am inclined to agree.

I have no idea why they chose to shoot the van. I cannot understand what would have made them shoot the van. Why not just follow the van. Back up troops were not far behind and could easily have dealt with the situation. Shooting the van seemed beyond reason. The only thing I can possibly imagine is that they got a little gun-crazy. Even if that is the case, then why were they authorised? The great concern is, that it appears all along the chain of command, fully trained soldiers made life or death decisions, and they all got it wrong.

The soldiers in the helicopter appeared to be young and perhaps naive. To be honest they appeared to be as if they were playing a video game, begging for permission to finish the group off, praying for the injured man to reach for a gun, and finally laughing as they mercilessly shoot the van and just miss the children inside. A few bloggers have mentioned the idea of the children being used as a shield. Maybe this is so, certainly leaving your kids at home seems like a good idea before entering a hot zone like this one, but I am also inclined to think if I were using children as protection, I wouldn’t put them in a place where no-one can see them. These are some of the people who we ask to protect our peace. It is scary, because on the basis of this video, I would feel uncomfortable about them looking after children in a playground. They were exhibiting the same kind of immature bullying and childish naivety that you see in every school in the country. You can almost hear local children down your street crying:

“Come on, let us shoot!”

They are soldiers and should act like professional soldiers regardless of their age or maturity.

Now I am being generous here, because I didn’t see anyone firing at the helicopter before it fired upon them. In fact even after the firing it seemed like the group of men were too stunned to react quickly. They didn’t appear worried about the chopper before the attack, like I imagine armed insurgents would be. I am being generous because as I have said, WikiLeaks has not provided us with enough background on the situation, and I do not know the tactical intricacies involved.

The video aside however and I feel its important to ask a different set of questions. Why would this or any of this kind of footage (taken 3 years ago) be kept from the general population? Why did it have to be leaked? and what would happen if it were released by the army?

I simply don’t understand. For a start, any footage that shows us more clearly about what war really means, has to be a good thing. Our enemies don’t hide their actions. If anything, when a car bomb goes off destroying buildings and killing countless innocent lives, they broadcast it from the highest rooftops. They show off, not just because they are proud, but also to show others of the difference they have made in fighting the infidel, us. In fact even the US Army release some more flattering films, showing them blowing up enemy barracks and tanks from time to time. I believe it is much wiser to face the truth, instead of pretending we have the kind of army where no-one gets hurt and all the bad guys die.

I don’t understand why they think we can’t take it. For my part, understanding what is involved in the terribly hard decision to go to war, and also what our enemies have done to us to provoke such action is extremely important. The war isn’t real if we don’t feel it, which means we need to see it in all its sadistic intricate detail. And it’s all very well saying we have never shown this kind of exposure previously, but we have much larger populations today, and there are less casualties, injured and returning soldiers than in previous wars. Less of us know someone who has been “out there”, and so there is a detachment from the war, which can turn swiftly into apathy and acquiescence.

As far as I can make out, there is no benefit for the Army to keep this or any other footage of old conflict under wraps. Obviously if there is an issue that releasing the footage will put soldiers lives in danger, then I would understand, but I cannot see how anyone wishing to fight against us will benefit from seeing this, except perhaps in not showing his gun off to his mates. Which has to be a good thing too. If I were a member of the insurgency, watching this video would make me think all the american soldiers are crazy, and perhaps there are easier battles to fight. It might also remind me of my own mortality and perhaps my cause isn’t so passionate after all. Having said that, I also accept that just as I dont know what a soldier has to go through, I also cannot comprehend what would drive someone to strap on a bomb and walk into a building or a plane, knowing I would kill hundreds of people.

The only way the insurgence gets a benefit is by not showing these films. That way, when they are leaked like this, our enemies can claim the support for the war is weakening and the americans are politically fighting amongst themselves.

I am not a big fan of the “free” press, since it appears to me that it’s not particularly free in any way, but I am a fan of the kind of freedom the internet has shown us.

It has not surprised me that not a single newspaper or news channel has picked up on this story in the UK. We have just had a general election announced, and so I hoped it would appear in the middle pages of The Times, or as second or third story on the BBC, but it failed to reach a headline anywhere in the UK. I am pleased that it has been reported on the internet, and that it continues to rumble along in the blogosphere.

I hope, if you read this, you too will keep the rumble of this footage going, and air your views on the matter. In just one day on YouTube, the footage was seen by 1.5m people. Lets keep that going.

Finally, on a different subject. I feel a lot of sympathy for the BA workers currently discussing the possibility of more strike action against what appears to be a suicidal management team. I am afraid though that to complain about your work conditions and pay at a time when soldiers are coming home dead and injured, shows a complete lack of empathy and judgement. I do not blame you, I totally blame the leaders of your Union, Unite, which appears to be making a mess of your union, your firm, and the upcoming election.

Too many Funerals

•March 24, 2010 • 2 Comments

I have been to two tragic funerals recently, and both have upset me in different ways.

The first one was of an elderly lady. She had lived a long and exciting life, working at The Mirror Newspaper, and travelling around the world. She was an inspirational lady even if she could talk the hind legs off a donkey.

I met her first in my cab. I had had a particularly good day (around christmas). Our local radio station had put on a prize for the best christmas lights, and the town had responded exuberantly. As Mrs Douglas jumped in the car, I told her how much it would be to take her home, but would she like to look around the houses at no extra charge. She did and we laughed ourselves silly at the many displays.

About 6 months later I answered an unusual request to help someone move. It’s the kind of job that takes a long time, but doesn’t pay well, so the other drivers left it. I was still relatively new however and hadn’t realised the full extent of the job. It turned out to be Mrs Douglas, and I instantly recognised her. The job was long and fruitless, but we didn’t care so much.

Over the next 6 months we became great friends, but she had planned a move further east, and I knew it would only be a matter of time before she left for good. My parents also became good friends of her during this time though, and when she finally did leave, we all kept in touch with the occasional visit and regular very very long phone calls.

Over the New Years period she contracted an infection which spread across her body. She died in late February.

In March I went to her funeral. It was held in a crematorium in Reading. Only 6 people attended. Only one family member. One lady who was there had never met Mrs Douglas in person, but had been paid regularly over the last 12 years to put flowers on Mrs Douglas’ parents grave. The one family member was a distant cousin who lived in the north of Scotland.

I felt so angry with her. I didn’t know what to say or do, but after the funeral I found myself crying my eyes out for her. For the waste that had been her life.

Yesterday I went to another funeral. A young lady, only 31 years old passed away last week to the shock of her friends and family.

I knew Miss Kellaway when she was little. We used to throw big family parties, and play charades and trivial pursuit. She was always smiling and entertaining.I have an affinity to children, they mostly see me as a climbing frame as a rule. She did not. This young lady was incredibly well-behaved and polite, and took her time to get to know me. She was always involved and I liked her a lot. I didn’t know her as she grew up, but I learnt she had no children, and although she was very attached to her partner, they had not married. I guess they just never got round to it.

The funeral was well attended at one of our local churches, the coffin was placed in the middle of the church before eventually being carried off to the crematorium. Her partner tried his best to read a touching poem, but was too grief-stricken to get the words out properly. Her father had written a beautiful eulogy but he too didn’t have the composure to read it. As the priest took control, the whole congregation could feel the immense despair in the words.

Once again I cried, as did everyone around me.I have been to a few funerals now, many more funerals than weddings. This was by far the most personal and touching.

I was heartened to know that so many people will be thinking of her and her family as I have been today.

For my own part, I have come to some stark conclusions. Firstly I don’t want to die old and alone. I know how tragic it may seem to my parents and loved ones, but I would rather die younger (not yet obviously).

Secondly, I want to be harvested. I am a humanist at heart, and believe that there is enough great beauty in this world. One of the tragedies of life here on earth, however is the inequality we all suffer. I have been lucky enough to be born here, in a decent secure stable country. I have also been born with a relatively healthy body, which I have learnt to abuse. I do feel a debt to the community I live in however, and so wish to be harvested for educational purposes or transplant. I’d rather not live in a jar, but if that’s what happens then so be it.

Finally I want anyone attending my funeral to be wearing the silliest thing they possibly can, and should anyone turn up with respectable funeral clothing, then they should be given a pair of long plastic clown shoes and a big glowing red nose. I know that people could be grief-stricken, but I want them to remember this moment with a warm smile. I want them to be turning to the person next to them and chuckling. I want my final last joke to be on them.

I know that people who know me, would get the joke.

To my two friends, I salute you. You have moved onto our memories, our dreams and our stories, where all the sadness disappears and only the funny and remarkable remain. You have both been funny and remarkable, and will be well-remembered.  You have both made a difference to my life, perhaps the only truly glowing honour.

Join the ANTI-ANTIVIRUS VISTA 2010 PARTY!

•March 8, 2010 • Leave a Comment


I hate my computer, I hate it with a growing passion.

The reason I hate my computer so much is that it is nearly brilliant, but in the end, it’s frustrating and annoying. Take for example the variety of different windows systems. I have Vista, which I almost love. I almost love the sidebar especially the exchange rate things, except being as I live in the UK, and my fiance is American, and also I like to know how the euro is doing, I have to load up the exchange rate thing twice. Grrr. (Thats a three R grrr by the way. I have moved from the two R grr, to the three R grrr as its gotten that serious. Also the two R grr kind of looked like I was a fan of motor racing.)

I also love the system monitor that watches my processing speed, except then it just tells me one of my processors is working madly whilst the other one is not, and they can’t switch the workload to make the thing quicker, and what the hell is it doing anyway, I didn’t ask it to do a damned thing! Why can’t my lazy processor (which I have now decided to call Berbatov) just pick up the slack! Besides which, have you seen how much operating memory it takes!

I love the windows background features, but I now have thousands of pictures suitable for my background and I want my lappytop to randomly choose one, but Vista doesn’t do that, so I end up finding a program online to do it for me, which works fine, except it’s really really slow, and it interferes with a load of other programs (No, I don’t care that you have just changed backgrounds when I’m in the middle of running away from a hoard of hungry zombies!) and have you seen how much operating memory it takes!

I love the internet, because it gives you access to everything except when you want to find one specific thing in which case it gives you everything BUT the one specific thing you wanted. In fact rather worryingly more and more even google takes you to sites selling you stuff rather than the information site you actually want. (When I type “All Holes at Augusta”, I didnt expect to see THAT. I had my Mum in the room!)

Sorry Mum

The worst thing without doubt on computers though is, rather specifically, ANTIVIRUS VISTA 2010.

This as you may know is not an anti-virus but a virus. It infects your computer and installs a program called AV.EXE on your PC. This program is a very very annoying advert that repeats itself again and again until presumably you link to their website and buy the product that, one can only pray, will leave this virus on your pc dormant, but more likely will either copy all your passwords and steal all your money, or send itself to all your friends instead.

This is also particularly annoying as turning the process off doesn’t work as EVERY SINGLE TIME you use any program, it turns itself back on again. Also somehow it manages to stay hidden by an anti-virus, a spyware, and a malware program, which must make all three of those an even bigger waste of money. Why did I bother getting them when this insidious pice of software can jus waltz in whenever it feels like it! Half of my computer space is taken up with anti-viruses and anti-spyware and none of it works!

You can’t delete ANTIVIRUS VISTA 2010 as, well it’s not a stupid as all that, and even if you could find the right file location and get to the file, it would only reload itself into your memory on the next boot up.

It’s like Russell Brand, you don’t like him, you don’t want him but he keeps bobbing back to the surface like a floating poo.

Floaty Poo

There is an election coming up in May, and I am offering my vote here and now, and I suspect the voYeah, hit that spongebob antivirus vista 2010 thing!te of thousands of internet users in this country, if ANY PARTY promises to hunt down the people who run this virus, who take the money, who create more and more strains of this insidious thing, and hang them from their scrotum, in a public place, like the Tower of London, for the whole world to see. Then supply us with big sticks so we can hit them like a pinata!

It can’t be that hard, freeze the accounts, petition for their arrest, they are committing a form of robbery or fraud or extortion or something here! There must be a law against it. Why is no-one fighting this.

Please stand with me and scream and shout. Lets complain to our leaders, lets demand they do something about this. Viruses are infecting our systems and they should be stopped once and for all! Join the ANTI-ANTIVIRUS VISTA 2010 PARTY!

Barbara Harris and Project Prevention

•February 9, 2010 • 47 Comments

I was driving back from London today, and had Radio 4 on. Now, I prefer to listen to 5live, but when you’re driving to London the reception is terrible, and I like to hear chat when I’m driving.

The show that was playing was called “Taking a Stand”, in which Fergal Keane (whom I have never heard of) talks to people who have unusual and outrageous views. Today he spoke to Barbara Harris.

Barbara Harris Radio 4 Interview

(I’m sorry, this is a link to the programme site, and not the interview itself. I am hoping someone will find a link to you tube, for people outside the UK)

I have never heard of Barbara Harris or Project Prevention, and at first this seemed like another crazy they had dragged out of some corner, and she was going to talk about how the inner-city crime problems will get resolved if we all catch the red admiral butterflies for two hours every Tuesday.

What I did hear was a truly astonishing woman, with an outrageous set of ideas. Well, specifically one idea. Pay drug addicts to get sterilized. At first, my set of liberal values jumped up and cried, “How dare she… These people are victims of our society… They are under the influence of a terrible drug and can’t be expected to make decisions for themselves… What happens when they come off drugs… sterilization can’t be turned back… Isn’t this close to eugenics, the idea of weeding out certain races that the nazi’s so vehemently pursued”

As I continued to listen though, the answers to the tough questions about the rights of individuals, the abuse of people under the influence, the inherent racism, the right winged sponsorship, I was slowly won over by her straightforwardness.

She is a focused woman, that much is clear, and when you see the world through her eyes, you can’t deny her points. Her argument is simple. Society has rights, and there are too many babies who have been dumped on the state, by single mothers who have taken no care to use birth control, and are totally incapable of caring for their offspring. These women have produced many babies. Some individuals have had over ten. All of which get swept into the adoption circuit, put into care homes and hostels, or orphanages where they often grow up with rejection issues and anger management problems and drug problems.

The women if, and when, they get themselves out of the drugs problems often express huge regret and guilt at having had the babies and not cared enough for them. The state has no choice but to take responsibility for them.

The drug addict has had a choice. The baby has not. As she expressed in the fascinating interview, she does have  empathy for these women, and often offers to keeps in touch with them, but her duty is to the society she lives in, and to the babies that would have been born into a hash careless environment had she not done her work. There are other people who will care for the drug addict.

http://www.projectprevention.org/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project_Prevention

I was stunned by this interview and it instantly reminded me of “Freakonomics” by Steven Levitt. A truly remarkable book about statistics. And specifically his chapter on the effect of legalised abortion on crime.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Legalized_abortion_and_crime_effect

In this he discusses a very direct correlation to the fall in crime figures after the Roe vs Wade case.

The truth is, I have always believed the rights of a society should outweigh the rights of an individual. That’s not to say we should ignore the rights of an individual, but for too long we have worried about these individual rights and almost forgotten how these privileges have damaged our society. You just have to look around at the protections we give our children and the way they use and abuse the system against us or the way that religious rights are used to defend racist and anti-social behaviour.

Drugs have seeped into every crack in our society, and has pushed a wave of crime further and further, tearing down our walls of social understanding and respect. We are bewildered by its impact and helpless in its aftermath. Barbara Harris is taking a stand to try to limit this tide at its source, just as Roe vs Wade did by accident in the 70’s, and I for one applaud her efforts.

There Probably Is No God… Just Be Good For Goodness Sake

•January 5, 2010 • 8 Comments

This was my favourite news story of the year.

The reaction was priceless

There is NO OUTCRY IN BRITAIN! lol… We seriously didn’t care! We really really didn’t care! You can’t believe how much we didn’t care….

The fact is WE in Great Britain.. have absolutely no interest in what religious people do…

According to the census statistics in 2001, 71% of brits are protestant… but think about this. In the 1600’s our King Henry VIII broke free from the catholic church so he could get a divorce from dodgy looking Catherine of Aragon, and have his wicked way with the tasty sex-kitten Anne Boleyn. We called the newly reformed protestant church… The Chuch Of England… get it… THE CHURCH OF ENGLAND.

If we called it “Martin Luther’s German Christian Church of Protestants”, NO ONE IN BRITAIN would ever mark it down on their census forms. The british people have not cared about religion for a very long time. Bear in mind that the same census in 2001 reported an excellent 0.7% of people claiming to be Jedi Knights, making it the fourth biggest religion in the UK!

http://www.vexen.co.uk/UK/religion.html

There is a religion in the UK, people go every week, people believe in it completely, people love it like they love their own family. It’s not christian, it’s not Muslim, it’s not even Buddhism….

Football is the religion of Britain, it has been since the 1900’s. And it is followed far more than any make-believe deity, its attended each week with crowds bigger than any church or mosque could dream of on our isle.

If you walked down a street with a quotation of the bible on your t-shirt, chances are you would be stopped and/or laughed at. We don’t thrust our silly ideas at other people, and we don’t presume others need to be saved, we don’t enjoy being told what to do, especially by people who seem to have no regard for their own rules. Walking down the high street with a football shirt is as normal as baseball hats in the US.

I don’t even like football that much, but at least its real.

BIG BIG BIG WELL DONE for the right-wing Fox News to come out with even more rubbish about britain. They are really having a bumper year after their attacks on the british health System. Seriously people… drive 100 miles to see a doctor, have operations without X-Rays, kill people off because they’re too old!  Fox News really has made a big effort this year!

Now they manage to take the mickey out of the one group of people saying just be good regardless of what you believe in. We dont see American Humanists bombing buildings, or terrorising abortionist doctors. They just want people to be good to each other.

Wow! I bet Jesus would approve… I seem to remember reading Jesus wasn’t a big fan of churches either.