8 Funny Politicians

There have been some very serious politicians, and there have been some not so serious politicians.

Inspired by the disappointing defeat of number one on my list, here is a list of a few of my favourites in no particular order. If you have any to add, let me know and I will add them to the list.

1. Lembit Opik

Elected in 1997 for Montgomeryshire, he held on to his seat til just yesterday. Only to turn up today laughing at himself on comedy news-quiz show Have I Got News For You.

He has appeared on Who wants to be a millionaire and The Apprentice for charity. He was romantically attached to Gabriela Irimia, one of the cheeky girls. In the national expenses scandal he was noticeably admonished for a variety of indiscrepancies one of which was claiming a £40 summons for non-payment of Council Tax.

Best Quotes;

“It does sound like a science fiction story and I may sound like one of these guys who walks up and down with a sandwich board saying the end of the world is nigh, but the end is nigh…”

“It’s like giving a convicted man on trial the verdict and then saying ‘are you happy with that?’ “

2. Boris Johnson

Ex MP for Henley-On-Thames, ex-editor of The Spectator and Bullington Boy Boris is the current Mayor of London, and our host for the 2012 Olympics (God help us).

In 2003 Boris wrote in his Telegraph column that had stolen a cigar case from Tariq Aziz, a known associate of Saddam Hussain, who was in prison. Boris wrote that Aziz could have it back if he just asks.

He is often on TV appearing on shows as diverse as Top Gear to Eastenders. He has said that Liverpudlian were wallowing in victimhood, Papua New Guinea was an orgy of cannibalism and chief killing, and that Portsmouth was “one of the most depressed towns in Southern England.

Johnson rides his bike to work despite having his bike stolen several times. He has said he would like to plant decoy bikes around the city with nearby navy seals ready to catch the thieves.

Best Quotes;

“Try as I might, I could not look at an overhead projection of a growth profit matrix, and stay conscious.”

“Ok, I said to myself as I sighted the bird down the end of the gun. This time, my fine feathered friend, there is no escape.”

“No one obeys the speed limit except a motorised rickshaw”

3. George W. Bush

The 43rd President of the United States left office in 2009. Having taken the US into a “War on Terrorism”, he later ordered an invasion of Afghanistan and two years later Iraq.

Despite his declaring a state of emergency two days before Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans, both the Department of Homeland Security and FEMA failed to act in time. It took Bush 4 days before he authorised troops to enter the city and help.

Best quotes; (Literally there are hundreds of fun quotes for him)

“You can fool some of the people all the time, and those are the ones you want to concentrate on.”

“The thing that’s wrong with the French is that they don’t have a word for entrepreneur.”

“Most imports are from outside of the country”

“It’s clearly a budget. It’s got a lot of numbers in it.”

4. Baghdad Bob/Comical Ali

Mohammed Said al-Sahhaf, later dubbed Baghdad Bob by the american newspapers and Comical Ali by the british press was known for his daily briefings during the Iraq War.

Whilst American tanks were patrolling the streets just a few hundred meters away, Al-Sahhaf told the world press there were no americans in Baghdad.

Best Quotes;

“We will push those crooks, those mercenaries back into the swamp”

“What they say about a breakthrough is completely an illusion. They are sending their warplanes to fly very low in order to have vibrations on these sacred places . . . they are trying to crack the buildings by flying low over them.”

“Everything is just fine.”

5. Bob Dole

Bob Dole ran for election as President in 1996 against Bill Clinton, but despite failing he still holds he record for the longest-serving United States Senate Majority Leader.

Since his retirement he has become a commercial spokesman for Dunkin’ Donuts, Pepsi-Cola (with Britney Spears) and Viagra, as well as doing The Daily Show, and sitcom Suddenly Susan.

Best Quotes;

“Our intent will not be to create gridlock. Oh, except maybe from time to time.”

“The internet is a great way to get on the net.”

“If you’re hanging around with nothing to do and the zoo is closed, come over to the Senate. You’ll get the same kind of feeling and you won’t have to pay”

6. Sarah Palin

In Sarah Palin’s first term of office as Mayor of Wasilla, Alaska she famously kept a jar with the names of Wasilla residents on her desk. Once a week, she pulled a name from it and picked up the phone; she would ask: “How’s the city doing?”

When Republican presidential hopeful John McCain plucked her into the american limelight in the 2009 election, no-one knew who this young brash Alaskan was, but just a couple of nationwide interviews later, including the famous “As for that VP talk all the time, I’ll tell you, I still can’t answer that question until somebody answers for me what is it exactly that the VP does every day?”, and the whole world was aware that the republicans had a new kid on the block.

Best Quotes;

“They are also building schools for the Afghan children so that there is hope and opportunity in our neighboring country of Afghanistan.”

“I’m the mayor, I can do whatever I want until the courts tell me I can’t.”


7. Winston Churchill

Prime Minister during World War II, great orator and leader, Winston Churchill was also a fabulous wit. His many conversations with Lady Astor, the first woman MP in the House of Commons.

In a classic encounter between the two of them Lady Astor announced “You sir, are drunk!”, to which he replied

“You madam are ugly, but in the morning I will be sober.”

Best Quotes;

“A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.”

“Although prepared for martyrdom, I preferred that it be postponed.”

“I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.”

“The water was not fit to drink. To make it palatable, we had to add whiskey. By diligent effort, I learned to like it.”

8. Silvio Berlusconi

The current Italian Prime Minister has held the role 3 times. He has an extensive record of criminal allegations, including mafia collusion, false accounting, tax fraud, corruption and bribery of police officers and judges, but as yet has not been convicted for any of them. Following the G8 conference in 2008 he said, “I’m the universal record-holder for the number of trials in the entire history of man – and also of other creatures who live on other planets.”

In 2002, Berlusconi, made a vulgar gesture  behind the head of the Spanish foreign minister, intimating he was a cuckold during an official photo shoot.

In 2005, said they should have the European Food Safety Authority in Italy rather than Finland because “the finnish didn’t know what prosciutto is.” And later that year when trying to justify American investment in Italy he said “we have the most beautiful secretaries in the world”.

In 2006 he refuted that he had said Communists used to eat children, by saying, “they did not eat children, but had them boiled to fertilise the fields”.

Best Quotes;

“If I, taking care of everyone’s interests, also take care of my own, you can’t talk about a conflict of interest.”

“I’m not a traditional politician, and I have a sense of humor. I’ll try to soften it and become boring, maybe even very boring, but I’m not sure if I’ll be able to.”

~ by eggplantinspace on May 8, 2010.

One Response to “8 Funny Politicians”

  1. Good old Comical Ali. I do miss him!

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