Fun and Olympic Games

I cant help but be astounded at the variety of sports offered by the olympics in China this week. As always you get to see some sports you never watch at any time of your life, such as Dressage (of which I still dont understand) and the Points Cycling. I sat there for half an hour watching them go round and round the track getting excited, and without a clue as to what was going on.

In a moment of madness my flattie and I pondered where these sports originated. Some are obvious, like the marathon. As messengers from the kings and Emperors of history were sent to the front lines of major battles to inform their armies as to tactics…  It does seem a shame that some of those origins are not better adhered to. In those days the marathon runners would have to avoid arrows and spears thrown at them, perhaps a more traditional version of the sport could include the crowd throwing wet sponges and rotten tomatoes.

Likewise the javelin, or spear throwing makes perfect sense, although i have always felt there should be targets out there to hit, but what about some of the vaguer sports.

Krispin and I had a little think. Take the triple jump. Obviously seeing how far you can jump is a legitamate sport, but what on earth is the triple jump about? When in life do we Hop, Skip and Jump in such a rediculous manner… Here’s my theory… Have you ever been on a beach on a really hot day when the sand is burning hot? Yes, I am convinced, the triple jump is a modern olympic version of going from the towel to the sea without burning the soles of your feet.

The shot put, seems like another strange one. Now some would say it comes from rock throwing as shown in the movie ‘Braveheart’ and maybe thats true, but as Mel Gibson in a kilt clearly showed, throwing big rocks at people is never going to be that effective. Instead I think its far more likely the sport developed in the 1600’s. Imagine a ship being circled by pirates, and all the cannonballs are on one side! Cannonbal throwing would be useful then.

The discus also seems a little weird, but with a little thought, we figured this ancient sport clearly owes alot to bad cooking! Perhaps disgruntled greeks, tired of fighting on the frontline would would fling lumps of stale mouldy bread at their enemies rather than eat it themselves. Its just a thought.

Krispin suggested that the pole vault was some strange siege weapon, for knights to storm castles, but somehow I can imagine a knigt with chainmail, sword and shield running up to a castle wall with a dirty great pole.

Any ideas on that please let me know. Actually, if you have any other ideas, say about Badminton, or synchronised diving please let me know, and what the hell is the parrallel bars about… When did anyone need to do that!

Myfriend Angela believes we should develop these sports for the winter games too, perhaps instead of the 100 meter dash they have in the summer games, we should have a 100 meter stop, all the atheletes on a giant catapult, fired from a starting gate on the ice! I love it. Or you could have the 400 meter speed skate hurdling! Genius sport! That would be hilarious! As it is I spend half the winter olympics in tears of laughter. Why would any sane person go down a bobsleigh track on a tea tray!

I do like the idea of turning summer sports to winter sports though, I would love to see Womens Snow Volleyball, or Ice Weightlifting. Once again thoughts welcome.

~ by eggplantinspace on August 16, 2008.

10 Responses to “Fun and Olympic Games”

  1. Good Article

  2. Good Article

  3. Very interesting topic , thankyou for posting .

  4. I think nude skiing would be funny.

  5. good motives , do you think this is the future?

  6. Love the pics… good blog

  7. Actually I really like the idea of triple jumping up a bobsleigh track.
    You remember when you were a kid and you’d climb up the slide, I can’t help thinking olympic bobsleigh track climbing would be fantastic fun!

    Its simply genius

  8. OK, badminton is clearly warding off incoming missiles of some sort. Synchronised diving must have been developed by Greeks intent on invading Poseidon’s realm in style; parallel bars? It would take a better brain than mine…

    As for fusion Olympics, how about triple-jumpers trying to make their way up a bobsleigh track bordered by badminton players attempting to ward of the incoming missiles of an army of shot-putters?

    Sorry. That’s just silly. There’s always one who goes too far isn’t there… And it’s usually Kim Jong-il. Seen this?

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