The Peculiar Episode of the Male Member


Did you know, there is only one muscle on the male body that is joined on one side only. I’ll tell you which one a little later, but first I wanted to remind you of my first ever blog, which was all about my disgust at people urinating in the streets. Have they never been taught to go before they leave… I mean come on… how old are they!!

Anyhow, I was picking up a young lad from Wareham station on Friday. I should have guessed things would be a little different, as although it was only 4 in the afternoon, he asked me to pick him at the pub. He had turned up early and obviously found his place with a pint and a game of pool.

Our journey was lively as his happy mood was contageous, and we blasted Guns and Roses loudly as we could scaring crows and rabbits asunder. All of a sudden with a pained ailing expression, he turns the music off and croaks “Stop the Car!”

Now as a cabbie, when someone says “Stop the Car”, you stop the car! Very very quickly, else you get a car full of his breakfast. I stopped the car.

He got out… Quickly.

He ran to a bush, and to my utter shock, unzipped his fly and began to pee.

For a second things went into slow-mo, the birds twittered, the wind breezed, the trees waved. And then I spotted the Farmer… and then I spotted the shot gun… and then I spotted the young lad running!

Thank god my engine turned on first time. Thank god I found a gear change quickly. Thank god I was wearing good pants!

Just for a tiny second I imagined leaving him there to face his maker, but whilst I hate peeing in the streets, I’m not sure its a shooting offense.

Once again, one of my 9 lives has been wasted on trivial things. I can just see St Peter at the gates of Heaven saying… You have got to be kidding… you were supposed to last til 90!

Anyhow. I am now starting a campaign to stop people Urinating in Public… What do we want… a piss….. where do we want it…. in a toilet!

I hope you will all support me on this and maybe give me a donation to go towards my world wide investigation into the subject.

Oh and by the way, the answer to my question at the begining was his tongue… you filthy people!

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~ by eggplantinspace on July 6, 2008.

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